Home.

Well everyone, I actually made it to WA! What an exciting journey! The 36+ hour drive to get here was well worth the struggle and preparation I put into the move. Having the opportunity to travel across the country in a Penske truck, was an experience I will never forget. Going through the mountains in a loaded truck while pulling a car was at times absolutely frightening. Especially when my crazy brother got behind the wheel... Although, making the trip with just my brother and my sugar gliders offered the perfect opportunity for some much needed brotherly bonding. Along the way, I shot video of the trip (as opposed to blogging), which allowed me to document my adventure in great detail. Shortly after arriving in WA, I created a film and trip-summary (Trailer) of the journey. The fifty-three second video embedded in this blog is the "trailer" of the video I shot along the way. It touches on some of the highlights of the trip, which include ping-pong, visiting my mom, almost running out of gas in the middle of the mountains with no cell phone signal, and terrain changes. Enjoy! :)

It's now been 42 days since I arrived in WA, although with all the activities going on it feels like a lot longer (in a good way)! It's truly hard to believe I have been away from my birth-home for over a month now. It's actually kind of sad. Not because I am starting to get home sick, but because I'm not. I don't miss Michigan at all. Sure, I miss my friends, my family, and my co-workers but that's it. I was bored in MI. Now that I am in a economically booming city, surrounded by amazing hiking trails, beautiful scenery, and tons of adventure, how could I possibly be bored?!? There are so many new places to explore and things to see here! I am located in Sammamish, which set's high in the mountains overlooking the Seattle city skyline. I am approximately 20 minutes from Seattle and 15 minutes from Bellevue. The city life here is amazing, always offering a place of action and interesting people. Luckily though, I live in a suburban area outside of the hustle and bustle of the city. To top it off, this area knows how to do coffee. Big time. I even have my own personalized Starbucks drink card and personal barista! ;) With so manny new things going on, I have practically neglected or forgot about things like Facebook, and my Blog. I will try and update more often now, as although things have yet to settle down, I am slowly getting used to this new way of life. I absolutely love it.

Small Life Updates...

>I am now fully emerged in the P90X workout program. Getting ripped while starving to death and in pain.

>I dont have a job yet, but I do have some good prospects, including: a cancer research position, a science lab position-working with professors at a university, and a maintenance position at a long-term care facility.

Don't Cry because it's Over, but Smile because it Happened

Why does saying goodbye have to be so hard? Recently, I have been preparing to say goodbye to my family, friends, coworkers, and the places that have had a significant impact on my life. The idea seems so foreign to me. I have said "see you later" many times before, but saying "goodbye" is different. In a way, more permanent. How do you tell someone whom you have had amazing experiences with goodbye forever?  "Have a nice life." "I'll probably never see you again, but its been real."? I guess I don't know what I'll say when the time arrives. Maybe my tears will say it all for me. 

Will I ever return here? Will I ever come back to Holland, Michigan? Holland Hospital? Or Hope College? Realistically, I probably won't come back. I'll just end up moving on, leaving behind mere footprints of my short existence here. The though of never coming back makes saying goodbye all the more difficult. Thought's of the people I am leaving behind seem to infect my mind each day. Being secure in my masculinity, I feel safe saying my eyes have not been entirely dry lately. Thoughts of leaving my church and my christian family behind are especially difficult. I can't believe I will be saying goodbye to Grace Harvest Bible Chapel tomorrow. Saying goodbye to pastor Ken, who has literally help change my walk with Christ, and to the people I worship with each Sunday. Saying goodbye to an aspect of my religious life is one of the hardest parts of this journey so far. 

Recently, a good friend suggested I go to all of the places that have had an impact on my life over the last 5 years, for one last visit. So I started with food. 

Specifically, my favorite restaurants. I then branched out to my favorite places in Holland, including the beach and downtown. Still on the list are Hope College and Centennial Park, which I am saving for last. Since I will be leaving right before the tulips bloom (a classic sign of spring in Holland, MI), I will miss out on my last tulip time festival. Holland is covered in fields of tulips and wooden shoes. Perhaps I will go to the local wooden shoe factory before I leave and get a pair for myself. It may sound pointless, but tulips, windmills, and wooden shoes make up a significant portion of my Holland experience. So not experiencing these events again, is rather unfortunate. However, leaving things behind like piles of snow and drifts that make getting around nearly impossible, are a relief to say the least.  The photo of the door and snow drift on the lower right was just this last winter (Winter of 2010). Shortly after this photo was taken, I decided to leave Michigan forever (January 2011). 

Now, as I prepare to drive away from Holland in the next 10 days, I prepare to say goodbye to everyone and everything that has made my life absolutely amazing. I will never forget the people and places I have encountered and I will never forget where I came from. For me, Michigan is more than just a "pleasant peninsula." Michigan will always be my "home." 

"Si Quaeris Peninsulam Amoenam Circumspice". 

As I prepare to say goodbye to my life in Michigan, I prepare to greet my new life in WA. :D 

 Seattle, WA AKA: My New Home.

 I can't wait!


Final Thoughts: The vote is in (albeit small in volume). The voters agree, I should get an iPad 2 after I move (60% agree)! Only one person thought I should get an iPad 2 before I left, and only one thought I should not get one at all. That latter person is lame.


Please Vote in the upper right hand corner of my blog!! I put up a new item to vote on each week.  Also, please share your thoughts and opinions below!! I cant wait to hear what you all think! :D

The Adventure List

One of things I love most about visiting a new place is exploring. Being in unfamiliar territory can be both scary and exhilarating at the same time! One of the best parts about exploring is the anticipation that comes before the adventure.  For me, getting lost in a sea of new experiences and surroundings is only half of the experience. To fully grasp the depth of ones own emersion, all of the senses need to be stimulated. Having some level of knowledge prior to the experience allows for a greater appreciation of the event, and allows your emotional psyche to become fully immersed in the physical reality you are experiencing. Basically, before visiting a new place, I love to plan my adventures. I love to research all of the facts and learn the finest of details before diving into the experience.

Since I am moving to the Pacific Northwest in the next 24 days, I have been filling my mind with as much detail about Washington as I can. Being captivated by all of the new opportunities that will be at my disposal, I have started an "Adventure List". Similar to the well-known "Bucket List", my list is not focused on achieving some personal satisfaction before I die, but rather living life to the fullest. Experiencing the awesome nature of God's creation humbles me, while purifying my praises of exaltation. Life can be an adventure as long as we allow it to carry us along.

My adventure list isn't just a product of my own imagination, but rather a creation fueled by friendship. Perhaps the best part of this adventure list is who I will share the experiences with. Creating an adventure list with one of my closest friends from WA has been an experience all of it's own. Adding new items to the list almost every day, we now have a plethera adventures waiting to be experienced!  Just part of the list includes:

Wine tasting and drinking

Fresh Sea food at Pikes Place market

Camping

Back backing
Staying in a cabin in the mountains
Hot springs
Skiing in the mountains
Helicopter tour
Bar with good car bombs?

Hookah lounge
Getting lost
Scuba diving 

Going to Puget Sound

River rafting through the mountains 

and the list goes on and on... 

Just today, I was discouraged and anxious about leaving my home in the next 24 days, forever. Then I received a text from my friend in WA, saying she had added an item to our list, kayaking from Readmond to the Redhook Brewery. My butterflies flew away. 

Get ready WA, here I come! 

Seattle WA: 31 days, 23 hours, 4 minutes, 3 seconds

 My countdown has begun. I'm heading for Washington state in only one month! It's hard to believe that time is going by so fast and yet so slow! I am ready to be in Washington, settling in and looking for a job! I've had enough of this limbo in between. I either want to be all there or all here, not in both places at the same time.  

I'm tired of my apartment looking like a playground of boxes and debris. Each night, I find myself navigating a maze of boxes just to get to my bed. Its really quite ridiculous and is starting to get old. Boxes seem to fill up every aspect of my living environment;  piling up in the middle of my living room and lining the bedroom walls. My garage is no exception, as it is filled with numerous items that remain mostly un-boxed at the moment. I have just been so busy! Who knew moving across the country would involve so much attention to detail? For example, the bank I have always used (since childhood) does not have a branch in WA state, forcing me to change all my accounts linked to that bank to a different banking provider. Having multiple accounts enrolled in "auto-pay" has made my banking life all the more difficult. Changing account numbers and deactivating the auto-pay feature for numerous companies has been an absolute nightmare. Just when you think your utility company has deactivated that auto-pay feature (as they promised) and you make that manual payment, BAM! They still take out via auto-pay, doubling you payment for that month. What does that equal? Well for me, it seems to turn into hours on the phone with a representative from a different country, trying to reverse the double payment. Additionally, "this is not a good time to discuss my eligibility for an upgrade or some new promotional feature". Not cool.

Overall though, I'm happy with my choice of choosing Chase bank. The transition from 5/3 Bank was mostly seamless, taking only about two days to complete. I'm also really excited about all of the new features offered by Chase that I will be able to use, like the spending-tracker which break's down all your spending for each month and show's you the areas you spend the most on. They also have a really interesting "Cash Back" feature with their Freedom credit card, which I am eager to try out. Hopefully earning money on each purchase I already make. I'm also enrolled in their "Bill Pay" feature, that puts me in control of paying my bill's, as opposed to that dreaded "auto-pay" feature. So my banking world is finally looking up! :)

Samantha: On the chair

Tabatha: Sunbathing in the window

My dad is flying in on this Tuesday (Today is Saturday) and we are going to spend a week moving a whole bunch of stuff to my parents garage. This is exciting, because I am so ready to get rid of some of these boxes!!! I will be hauling most of their stuff that has accumulated in my garage, but also some of my stuff that I think is either pointless to take along or nearly impossible to take with me. Unfortunately, the two cats I have been babysitting fall into that category, and won't be able to come with me. So my dad will be taking them back with him. This is going to be pretty hard, as they have really grown on me over the past 6 months... it will be so lonely with out them. :(

Reuniting one last time.

The details presented here have not been inflated or exaggerated in the slightest way. This is the actual account, as it happened from memory.

My eyes slowly peel open. The sun lit room is a bit out of focus, so I blink once or twice to clear the matter from my eyes. Sigh. Pulling the covers off to the side, I struggle to sit upright on the side of the bed. The sun seems to be shining behind the tilted blinds, casting a luminous warm glow on the walls. Yet, oddly I seem hear the all-to-familliar sound of rain dancing on the tin roof of the patio. A light rumble of thunder resonates in the distance. Standing up, I stretch to loosen my stiff muscled. I walk down the short hall to the kitchen, as I have so many times before. The kitchen was clean, everything in its place except for a few papers scattered about on the counter. Looking at the floor, I remember noticing how distinctly clean and fresh looking the carpet and furniture seemed. "Humm", I think to myself. "When did my parents find time to come here and clean?" There used to be so many boxes and junk laying around that our cottage looked like a neglected storage unit that had been abandoned. Walking from the kitchen through the living room, I step into the patio. This room seems a bit darker, as it doesn't face the sun and when the blinds are all closed, the room is barely lit. I walk over to one particular window next to the door. This window has a habit of popping out of its track during wind storms, as its older and needs to be replaced. I decided to check it, since the sound of the rain on the tin roof had intensified. Pulling the blind's away from the window, I'm startled to find a rather new looking secure window in its place. Lightly tugging on the frame, I confirm its in place."That's strange" I remark. "Why would my parents replace that window now?" Deciding to step outside, I open the door. The rain is really coming down. I feel it hitting my face and hands. I look over to the lake. The waves are dancing about, making small white caps and ripples with each small collision. The sky above the lake has a distinctively ominous appearance. Random flashes of lightening give the dark clouds brief moments of light. The sun shinning brilliantly from the east lights up the rain and further darkens the storm clouds. It's actually really beautiful, I think to myself. Looking about, while standing in the rain and sun, I realize something is wrong. The yard hasn't been this groomed and cared for in years. Thinking back to the clean cottage, and new window, I realize whats going on. Im am in a dream! I walk over to the wooden hand-rail of the deck. The rain has soaked it and makes small splashes with each additional drop that strikes the wood. I run my hand over the soaked wooden rail, and feel its distinctive groves. I can believe the attention to detail! I look about in amazement, trying to grasp every part of my dream. The yard looks so great, green and healthy as my dad always kept it. Walking down the stairs, I decide to follow the path around to the back side of the cottage. All along the way, I take in the amazing details created within my dream. I am captivated by the virtual reality of the situation. Knowing I'm in a dream, I strive to take in as much detail as possible. This is amazing and so beautiful! So real! The rain seems to let up a bit as I pass our tool shed. The paint looks so fresh and new. "It's such a pity we have let this beautiful place get so run down recently" I think to myself.  Walking between the cottage and shed, I pass into the back yard where I am instantly shocked by what I see.

"Grandpa!" I yell. I run over to him and give him the biggest and longest hug I have ever given. My eyes well up with tears. "You look so great grandpa!" He smiles, "I feel great". Standing in amazement, I struggle to understand and take in every bit of this experience. "I miss you so much grandpa!" I say with tears streaming down my face. Looking at me, he smiles and rubs my shoulder. I feel the dream begin to flicker and fade. "No!" I shout at the top of my lungs. Although, I have never been in this situation before, I know what is happening. I am about to wake up. Running back to the cottage, I feel it necessary to determine what date I'm in. Was this dream so detailed and vivid because it was coming from a memory, or was this some new creation? I needed to know. Running into the kitchen, I look for the calendar which would give me the year and day. I couldn't seem to find one. My mom always had one hanging on the wall near the stove, but for some reason one was not there, just the nail where it used to hang. Running to the window and pulling the blinds aside, I look to the back side of the cottage. I see grandpa still standing there, he has his tools out and seemed to be working on part of the cottage. "There's still time", I think to myself. Looking about the small room, I decide to rummage through the scattered papers on the counter. Rustling through several papers and envelopes, I discover a store receipt. Frantically scanning over the receipt, I look for the unique time stamp. "Ahha!" There it was, in vivid detail. "06.08.06 at 15:03". I quickly head back outside. The sun was still shinning while the rain continued to pour. The thunder rumbled loudly overhead. As I ran along the path to the back of the cottage, I noticed my grandfathers bike propped up. I knew he was still there and still with me. Running around the corner to where my grandfather was standing, I noticed he was holding a piece of plastic over the top of his head. "It's really coming down", he remarked with a smile. "grandpa", I yell over the rumbles of thunder. "Can you tell me what day it is?" He looks at me and smiles while shaking his head, "Humm, I'm not really sure." He lifts his hand and adjust the piece of plastic on his head. "Your watch! Can you look at the date part and tell me what today is?" He looks at me and smiles, "I probably could". At this point, I feel like he knows the date but for some reason is reluctant to tell me. "I went inside and found a receipt, I think its some time in June. Does that sound right?" "Grandpa?" Smiling, he tilts his head to the side. I feel warm and at peace, comforted by his presents. The dream again starts to flicker, like a old film reel nearing it's end. "I love you grandpa!" I shout, as his image is exchanged with the blur of my bedroom. Laying on my pillow, I feel the cold of soaked tears. I blink, and then take a deep breath. "Thank you grandpa."

My grandpa was my biggest fan. He taught me so manny wonderful things in life. My grandpa died of pancreatic cancer on 03.23.08 on Easter Sunday, while I stood at his bedside. I watched him take his last breath, and felt his heart stop beating. I miss him beyond belief. Im not sure why or what inspired this dream, or even what allowed me to know I was in a dream. But I am SO thankful. So happy I was able to hug my grandpa one more time and feel him hugging me back. I am so thankful I was able to say "I love you" one last time.

I miss you grandpa.

A Magical and Revolutionary Device at an Unbelievable Price

Being a self-proclaimed "MacHead" (pronounced MAK-hed. n. a slang term for a person who regularly uses and/or is somewhat obsessed with Apple computers; or Macs.) I figured I would do a quick blog on my favorite company's newest product. Also, I want to apologize for my rather pessimistic previous blog. My emotions, whether good or bad are always reflected in my writing. I guess that's what will make these blogs true to life. Enjoy!

_______________________________________________________________

I love futuristic things. Here we are, living in 2011 (that even looks and sounds futuristic to me!!) surrounded by a plethora of devices that allow instant access to as much information on any subject as you can possibly handle. Being born in 1986, I was able to experience the pre-future revolution (i.e. the 80's) while shortly thereafter experiencing the development of super-computers and cutting-edge advancements in technology. In a nut shell, I grew up at the end of the Walkman-era (I had a Walkman as a child) and the beginning of the iPod revolution (after going through the awkward CD-player phase, I got my first iPod in college).

Apple has changed my digital life. I remember the situation that brought me to my first Mac computer (Brace yourself, here comes a flashback story). During sophomore year (2006) at Hope College, nestled all safe and warm in my little Hope bubble, I was on top of the world. Living in Scott Hall room 308 with my roommate Jon Dean, an RA for the third floor, we had everything going for us. Our dorm room was tricked-out with everything a college male could love. We had neon lights, electronics, gaming systems, a projector TV system (our wall was a giant 8 foot by 10 foot screen), lap top computers, 1st generation iPods, diet coke, and a few books. Everything was great, until that fateful morning. I remember waking up in a frenzy. My alarm clock had not gone off making me over 20 minutes late. Disoriented and slmuiteamously high on adrenaline, I stumbled about the dimly lit room. Jumping from my bed over a scatter of loose sheet paper, then tripping over a gaming controller and landing in a pile of clean yet, unassorted clothing items. Sigh. I had no time to gather myself. Quickly logging onto my Dell Laptop, which was situated on my crude college-owned wooden desk chair; I checked my email to make sure my class paper had been sent the night before so I could print it later. Grabbing a towel, I darted out the door to the bathroom across the hall from our room. Although I was already late, I refused to be late and dirty when I arrived to class. My shower was quick, making it the kind I hate because I can't fully enjoy the warmth of the water and steam. Making my way back to my room, I got dressed and headed off for class. One hour and thirty minutes pass before I return to my dorm room. Opening the unlocked door, I immediately notice a few extra papers scattered about on the floor. For a guy's dorm room, its not unusual for papers and all sorts of stuff to be laying about. However, I remember thinking it was somewhat strange that my roommate would leave parts of his treasured gaming system askew about the room. Slowly, as my eyes turn upward from the floor to the desk chair where my laptop once sat, I see an empty space and power cord dangling from the side of the chair. "Holy shit. Where is my computer?!?" Running across the room, I throw papers, magazines, and books. Clothes are flying from the floor as I franticly search the room for my computer. "Maybe my roommate moved it. Maybe I moved it sometime early this morning." "Holy shit. I think we've been robbed." Instantly I was on my phone, calling my roommate at the animal museum where he worked. 

Jon: "Hello?" 

Brent: "Hey, JD, did you move my computer?"

Jon: "What? No. Why?"

Brent: "Dude, I think you better get back here right now! I think we've been robbed!"

Jon: "What the Fu@k!?! Why? What's going on?

Brent: "My computer is gone, your gaming system and some other stuff"

Jon: "Shit. I'll be there in a sec."

Brent: "Okay, I'll call Campus safety."

Jon: "K" 

Click.

In the end, we had been robbed. The items stolen included a gaming system, games, controllers, thumb drives, my laptop computer, keys and some other items. In the bathroom across from our room, we found some of our magazines and school papers along with a doo-rag and a swisher sweet cigar. According to the police, the individuals probably waited until we left for our morning classes. They easily knew our schedules as they were posted on our door. Since the bathroom, was right across from our dorm room, it is believed that the individuals smuggled stuff into the bathroom where they packed it away before leaving. That day really sucked. I lost years worth of music, photos, papers, games and a whole plethora of others items on my computer that were priceless. That night, I remember laying in bed, angry at the fact that I had lost so much. I remember praying that night. For whatever reason, I decided, in the midst of my anger to forgive those individuals who had stolen my digital world. I forgave them, before finally falling asleep. Early the next morning, I remember receiving a call from my parents Home Owners Insurance company. They told me to go to the store and get another lap top to replace the stolen one as soon as possible. My parents apparently had full replacement insurance, where the insurance company will fully replace an item by category (at new value), not by a depleted market price or current used-value like cheaper insurance plans tend to do. After the call, I remember dropping to my knees and thanking God for being so amazing during times of difficulty. Later that day with my roommate, I ordered my first MacBook Pro laptop computer, loaded with every new feature and option available! God is so good!

So about this new Apple device!! Yesterday, March 2nd, 2011 Apple released the iPad 2!!! It is loaded with amazing new features! Front and rear facing HD cameras, A5 duel core processors, and a whole bunch of other new stuff, making it an amazing and futuristic device. Which I love! I really want one. I wanted the first iPad, but told myself to wait for the second generation so all the bugs could be worked out. However, since I am getting ready to move to Washington state soon, I might need the $499+ it takes to purchase one. So I am stuck. Do I spend the money or not? Please Vote!

I am making a new poll in the upper right had corner of the screen. Please vote!!!! 

The results are in 17:1 for the last poll, 97% agree I should move to Wa!!! Thanks for voting!! 

Nothing is ever just BLACK or WHITE.

Everything in my life is gray. Issues that should be either black or white turnout to be a yin-yang mix of both, leaving me stuck in the middle to sort out the details. Living in a world of constant entropy, my life tends to disorder. I struggle to keep things neat and predictable, and yet always end up making a mess riddled with systematic and random error. Trying to maintain some sense of balance in my life, I end up burning my candle at both ends.

I feel like everything is changing so quickly. I am leaving my home, job, family, and friends for a new adventure. I am forming new relationships and messing up old ones. I'm never happy. Never fully satisfied as it seems. I always feel the need to be on a quest to fill the constantly shifting void in my life. Being single, I long to be in a relationship. When a relationship comes along, I long to be single. My roller-coaster spirituality and relationship with God are far from immune to the constant mistakes I make. I feel like a slipping Christian somedays and running to make up for lost ground during the next. This constant flux from high to low, good to bad, happy to sad is the horrible and yet invigorating substance of life we all experience each day. Without feeling pain, we can't appreciate pleasure. Without experiencing sadness, we cant enjoy the benefits of happiness. Without darkness, we can't find the light.

I just hate the unknown. Hate the constantly changing and unpredictable future. I remember when I was little, my grandfather once told me: "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans for the future." As an adult, Im sure God has laughed at me a number of times. For it never really seems to matter how many calculations I perform or how many times I evaluate the statistical probability of a particular desired outcome. It wont happen as I plan. In life, nothing is ever just black or white.  Nothing is as simple as I want it to be. There are always unexpected factors and unanticipated adaptations in every evolving system. As life changes, so do I. As my plans change, I must adapt to the change or risk being left behind. At most, all I can do is attempt to weigh the costs and benefits of each situation and then let God handle the fine details. I suppose that's easier said than done for some situations. I am only human, and have not even faith the size of a mustard seed.

--Updates--

Taxes are done. I owed the federal government ~$80.00 and the state owed me $310.00. TruboTax was as easy as they claimed, but not as free. The free portion was only for the federal return processing. I had to pay about $23.00 for the state return to be processed.

I am continuing to box up my world in anticipation of this big adventure! My small room is filling up with a plethora of plain brown boxes. The rest of my apartment is really starting to look bare. How exciting! In the mean time, I have been searching for apartments and houses on Craigslist. There are so many options out there!! Although I will be living with my brother in the beginning, it is still exciting to look at all of the possibilities.

Contacts. I just got my "permanent" contact lenses yesterday, at $110.00 above my insurance coverage. It's okay thought because I really LOVE them!!! They work great!!! Just today, I got both contacts in my eyes in under 30 seconds! I'm basically a contact-pro now! ;)

NEWS FLASH: Contacts, Boxes, Netflix, and Turbo Tax.

So, I decided that this blog would be dedicated to updating you on the events that have recently occurred in my life.

1.) Contact lenses. Almost three weeks ago today, I decided to change my look and my options for seeing the world more clearly. I decided to partake in placing a piece of plastic (Actually composed of comfilcon A 52%, H2O 48% or basically watery silicon) in my eyes. That day seems so distant now, the moment I first arrived at my eye doctor for my scheduled contact lens lesson. I remember sitting in the waiting room, watching an eager plethora of corrected-vision costumers browse the racks of expensive glasses, wondering in the back of their mind if the insurance will pay for a pair of custom Oakley shades. "Brent?" Hearing my name called startled me, as I quickly rushed up to greet the optometrist. She showed me into a small room, where a dest and sink were oddly positioned next to each other. On the desk were two vanity mirrors and a box of kleenex. The optometrist gave me some papers to read and left the room for about 10 minutes. After I finished reading, I started to question if I would be able to touch my own eye. So I proceeded to spread my eyelids and poke at my sclera. "ouch!" I nearly jolted as the optometrist walked back into the room, "don't worry" she remarked with a smile, "you'll be able to do it". I had been caught in the act of poking my eye, how embarrassing. The optometrist took a seat and proceeded to show me how to clean, care for, and insert a contact lens. I feel like most of the lesson was a blur, like that teacher in the Charley Brown cartoon: "Muaaa ma muawaaa ma muaaaa!!!" was all I could hear. All I could think of was the impending doom that was sure to result from sticking a plastic piece in my eye. Did this woman even realize the pain this could cause? All of a sudden the optometrist pushed the contact lens container across the desk in my direction. It was time. I fished around in the solution to find the small, squishy disk. It flopped around on my fingers as I struggled to position it on my index finger. Spreading my eye lids just inches away from a magnification vanity mirror, I could only help but hear the star wars theme playing in the background as my contact-laced finger slowly approached my eye. Watching this all happen in the mirror was like experiencing a high definition 3D movie for the first time. OH MY. Here it comes! I flinch and squirm in my seat with anticipation. I feel the cool lens make contact. Blink. The lens pops out. "Shit" I remark, "so close". This continued for about ten minutes, until my eye was all blood shot red and watery. "I'll try once more" I remarked, as I continued to spread my eye lids with intense determination and place the lens in contact with my eye. Slurp. It was in! Looking around the room at everything in 50% clarity, I smiled knowing I had just defeated my first contact lens. "Now the other one" a voice remarked.

Nearly three weeks later today, I returned to the optometrist to pick up my second trial pair of contacts. Apparently, the physician needed to adjust my prescription to increase the lens strength for my left eye.  I will now go a couple of days on the new trial pair, before returning to RX Optical to order my "official" lenses.

2.) Boxing. After talking with the housekeeping staff at the Holland Hospital ER (as is described in my previous blog) I received a bunch of boxes and about four days ago, I started packing!! I ended up going to Office Max and purchasing 200 feet of bubble wrap, an industrial tape dispenser, and box cutter knife. I ended up packing nine boxes total. I am keeping the boxes in my bedroom, due to a lack of space. I think its really exciting seeing all these boxes starting to pile up! Even if I am packing two months in advance.

3.) Netflix. Perhaps the reason I have not blogged in the last week is due to the fact that I have found a new love. Netflix. I realize I am a little behind the times on this one, but HOLY COW! Amazing. I don't have cable at my house, as I could never justify paying fifty-something a month for shows I didn't really care about. So, watching "digital" television was what I settled for. However, early last week as I was watching some crappy free-air tv show, a commercial came on for Netflix. Offering one month free and unlimited TV and movie streaming for only $7.99 a month. In the commercial, a family was watching a movie on the couch through their XBox 360. I was instantly online looking at the options available. I now have Netflix, and watch more TV and movies than I have ever experienced in my life. It is amazing.

4.) I need to file my taxes. I think today will be the day I start them. I have always used a CPA, but today I think I will use/try TurboTax. I'll let you all know how easy (or not) it turns out to be. Stay Tuned!


Thats my life in a nut shell! I'll try to blog again sometime later this week. Also, if you have not already voted in my poll, please use the poll box on the upper righthand side of this blog and cast your vote! THANKS! If you have any comments or suggestions, please leave them below!

Life- Memories Scattered in Plain Brown Boxes

Here I sit. Another day is coming to an end, as the light of evening fades behind dark and ominous clouds of ice and snow. Slipping into my special little dip in the sofa, I find that unique spot where I end up nearly every evening. This is peaceful. Quiet. The only interruption of absolute silence comes from the grandfather clock across the room. Marking each second with a distinctively rhythmic tick, as the golden pendulum's reflection warps the image of the room with each brief oscillation. Time is passing slowly, while thoughts of what seem to be multiple levels of consciousness are fleeting. Sitting here, in this peaceful and quite room, I struggle to truly live in this present moment. My mind constantly races from the future to the past; flipping back and forth like a fish stranded on a dry-dock suspended above water. My heart wants to be in Washington state while my mind attempts to mull over the endless pile of details. For example, boxes. You know the type--simple, typically brown, square or rectangle. Cardboard Boxes. When a person is considering moving, often boxes represent a brief moment of consideration among a plethora of more important details. For me however, boxes are not just a simple feature of some grand plan. Boxes are so much more complicated than you expect.

For nearly two months, I have researched boxes. I have looked into the different types, sizes, shapes, numbers, and prices of these corrugated commodities. With each step of the way, I have been saying: "I'm going to buy some boxes either today or tomorrow,and then start packing". Two months later, I am still box-less. I suppose, the real issue is packing. I really want to start boxing things up, so there is less to packing to do later. This seems to be the sensible thing to do. However I haven't started yet, in part because I don't have any boxes yet from which to pack. Maybe in reality, I stall at getting boxes because I still fear some parts of this life-changing commitment to move. Almost by stalling, I am delaying reality of my choice. Let me not be misunderstood, as I don't at all regret the decision I have made. I am just trying to deal with the reality of a cross-country move on my own. Once I actually start to pack, things should start to move more quickly. Boxing will be one of the first tangible aspects of this move. I will start to pack away my memories of Holland, and prepare my mind for Washington. 

Just yesterday, I was speaking with a few of the nurses I work with, God bless their intelligent and wise souls, as they tipped me off to some free boxes that are always available through the hospital. I ended up asking some of the housekeeping staff (A.K.A. boxing saints) to help me locate some of this free merchandise. When I left the hospital last night, I had acquired one medium-sized brown Avagard box. My first box! :) 

I suppose once I start to pack this lonely little box, the reality of this big move will really start to hit home. Its hard to believe that soon enough my entire apartment, my entire home for the last two and a half years will be as empty as the day I moved in. It's funny really, I almost feel like Im abandoning a close friend. I've really enjoyed Holland over the last five years. Time seems to have gone by so quickly, as though the parabolic-pendulum that warps my little room has bent the fine fabric of time in this chapter of my life. How did I get here? How have the countless number of events and details of my life led me to this dip in the couch where I now sit? This chapter is nearly over. Im about to turn the page. I can't believe how quickly it is going now! I grab the corner of the page and turn... 

The clock strikes the hour, as my mind snaps back to the present. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.   

Letter of Resignation--My first step towards moving to Washington state

What makes the future so scary? Perhaps we fear the unknown.  Having a lack of security, a lack of full understanding about what lays ahead. Like driving in unfamiliar territory, I fear the bumps in the road. I anticipate the detours and yet, fear where they will take me. I guess its really a lack of faith in knowing that everything will be alright, that somehow everything everything workout for the better.

Today, I took a personal leap of faith. I officially gave my good job at the Holland ER a letter of resignation for May 2nd, 2011, without having secured another job in the greater Seattle area first. This act of resigning makes my plans for moving to the greater Seattle area seem more real, more tangible in a way. For the first time in months of planning and years of anticipation,  I feel like I am making progress towards this big move. Having always lived in Michigan, it makes it especially scary leaving my home, friends, and good job with great benefits for a place I have never lived at. To top it off, I am leaving alone (in a way) without a significant other. I suppose not having a relationship makes my decision to leave a bit easier. I'm not tied down here and although I am a family man, my roots are not all that deep here on the West side of MI. My closest family members live about three and a half hours away on the East side. So, I have been living on my own, away from the majority of my family for about 5 years now,  ever since I headed off to Hope College.

So what draws me to Seattle, WA? Well, its rather hard to describe and still keep this blog succinct. I'll try for a condensed explanation. Seattle, WA. Whats not to LOVE? The beautiful mountains, scenic city, modern art, amazing and fresh sea food, the (mostly) kind people, my brother, my sister in law, my two best friends, and the opportunity to advance my education and career. In short, its everything I love about life wrapped up into one exciting city. At this point, I believe the advantages of moving to Seattle, outweigh the risks that are involved. Even so, I still seem to ponder the unknown. The "what-if's" seem to infest my mind and turn my stomach. However, I must trust that I am being called to a greater purpose. I must follow my heart and live life to the fullest. Its all starting to come together now, as I take those first steps towards something beautiful and promising.

"You can be anything you want to be when you grow up." (If you are accepted into the system)

Here I am. Sitting in the dark, with the only light coming from light blue glow of my computer screen. There is a fan oscillating soft white-noise in the background. I sit here in this place, alone with my thoughts, ready to share my desires and fears with an audience I have never met and probably never will. I'm not really sure what I expect to achieve or obtain from posting my thoughts. Perhaps, I should be more concerned with what I can give to others through them, rather than focusing on what I can receive from posting them. We'll see what happens I guess, as this is only my first blog.

As I sit here, staring at a blinking curser, my thoughts race through the random events that have occurred throughout my week, and life in general. Let me bring you up to speed. Going way back, I grew up in Rockford Michigan, where I went to public school and studied nearly every waking moment. I wouldn't really classify myself as a geek, but more as an overachiever. I had big plans and ideas for where I wanted my life to go and who I wanted to become. Its funny how my big ideas have changed with time, and how some of the small details that seemed insignificant to me as a child, have come to define who I am today. That's life I guess. As a child, many of my friends had big dreams too; many claiming the classic policemen or firefighters careers. We were children, desiring action packed and adventurous careers that would fulfill our appetite for heroic-like attention and praise. I was the same, apart from my choice of career. I wanted to be a doctor of medicine. I even had my very own FisherPrice doctors bag, complete with stethoscope, blood pressure cuff, plastic thermometer, and parabolic head mirror (like physicians from the 1920's used to wear). I would have so much fun, running around and "treating" my sick friends and family members. Playing doctor was entertaining to a point, but somewhere deep from within my simple yet mature soul, came a desire for something more. My desire was not to be a heroic action figure, but rather a humble servant. If you are questioning how a child could conceive such a plan or novel thought and fully understand its level of depth and responsibility, the honest answer is that I couldn't. I only knew what I felt from within, that feeling of being called to something bigger than oneself. One of the first comments I made for service came when I was at the age of five. I wanted to help the poor people plant corn. Yes, my logic was impeccable. If I could teach a man to plant corn, rather than feed it to them, they would eat for life. I believe this was my own spin on the "teach a man to fish" story. Deep down, I really just wanted to help people. I had been given a heart for service and a desire to "heal" the sick. During the sixth grade, I began my quest for a medical degree. I studied harder than I had ever studied before. I sacrificed my social life, my personal time and my some of my closest friendships to absorb everything medically related. I had found my calling. During my senior year of  high school, I had participated in a pilot program that immersed students in internships for their career of choice. I was the only medically interested student in the class and was able to have my choice of job sites. I chose the Metropolitan Heath Clinic (now MetroHealth) down the road from my house. I worked with three doctors (all DO's), a PA and a whole slew of nurses and medical staff. It was the time of my life. I felt as if I was already a medical student seeing patients, helping with in-office surgeries, and learning how to make my own diagnoses. It was wonderful, it was everything I had always want to do and experience. I remember one rainy day during the staff lunch break, a drug rep. pushing some new medications had brought us in food (as they normally do to bribe the doctors into listening to their spiel). There was a clear separation in the room between the doctors, nurses and tech's. The doctors sat at one end of the room, occupying their own table apart from the nurses and the rest of the medical staff. On this particular day, I was invited to the doctors table. It was a little awkward at first, as I felt pressured to be professional and yet knew little of what that meant. My fears soon turned to excitement, as the one doctor asked me what my plans were following High School. I was eager to share with him, my aspirations for a medical degree. I was so excited, so ready for him to reciprocate these feelings and share his passion for medicine. What I received was far different. I remember his response: "So,  you want to be a physician, huh? Well, its not all its cracked up to be." Looking to his colleague at his right: "ha, if only being a doctor was still worth it". The other doctor at the table then remarked: "Ha, yeah, your still young, you are not committed to this yet. You still have time to chose something different. You still have time to escape." I was absolutely speechless.

I realize, this blog is starting to get lengthy, so I'll try to speed it up a bit...

Not fully understanding the depth of the statements made by the doctors I respected, I simply moved on, still holding onto my childhood ambitions. I ended up heading off to Hope College immediately following high school. Still fully intending to be a doctor, I was on my way to my medical degree. While at Hope, I was able to take part in some amazing adventures. I was accepted into a cancer research position by the dean of sciences, where I worked on murine and human strands of Leukemia and Melanoma. I was published in 4 medical journals, and participated in a national American Chemical Society conference where I presented my research. It was an incredible two and a half years of science and medicine. I also continued my medical study and participation in both medically and non-medically related experiences throughout my time at Hope. Some of my experiences included the physicians rotation program, Holland Hospital Emergency Department, Mescalero Medical Mission Trip, and Habitat for Humanity. Im not trying to flex my ego, or flaunt my experiences here. I simply want to convey how committed I was to service and the medical arena. It was a blessing to be able to participate in so many opportunities and events at such a young age. I was on top of the world, I was going to make it.

Long story short, I didn't make it. Not yet at least. I currently work in the Holland Hospital ER as a Unit Tech. It is a really unique and exciting experience, but it is not the medical degree I was searching for. Now, as some of my subsequent blogs will convey, I am getting ready to leave Holland MI for Seattle Wa! I really cant wait! Its been a dream of mine for a long time. The mountains, the atmosphere, the people. I plan on leaving snow covered Michigan this May.

Everything is about to change. Will you join me on this journey? It should be entertaining, to say the least.